ardent: (I'm sorry that you never made it)
Kiyotaka Ishimaru (石丸 清多夏) ([personal profile] ardent) wrote 2014-02-06 12:03 am (UTC)

I hate myself. For what I did, and what I didn't do for the rest of you, and what I didn't do for myself. And I'm probably never going to stop hating myself for that.

[His words are perhaps disturbingly blank, despite their content; there's none of the usual passion behind them - rather, it sounds more like a recitation of fact than anything, no more involved than one would be when reading from a textbook.]

I hate Enoshima for not granting me five minutes to talk to my brother; I hate the knowledge that it wouldn't have mattered if she did, because he probably wouldn't have spoken to me anyway.

I hate the rest of you for killing him, and I hate myself for feeling that way because I know that isn't fair and it isn't right, and I hate myself for not caring how fair it is and doing it anyway.

[His voice still hasn't lost that unnaturally calm tone.]

I hate a lot of people, actually.

[Bishop; A6-B7.]

But that doesn't mean I want anything to happen to any of you. I hated everyone when we first woke up at the school, too, and the last thing I wanted was for any of you to die. It's still like that, and I actually like some of you and don't want to be angry with you anymore.

But I'm angry a lot of the time. I don't know if I'm any more or less so at Celes-kun than I am anyone else.

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