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16. Video
[It's been a while since Ishimaru's been seen on the network; the time he's had lately that hasn't been given to travel has instead been given to routine, to settling somewhere up inside his head where socializing is less important than getting things done, even though he isn't entirely sure what he's supposed to be getting done anymore. It's not the best pattern to be in, and if he must be there at all he knows somehow that it's better if it's temporary - doing this for too long leads to loneliness and that weird sense of distance when interacting with people, almost like he doesn't understand them anymore despite the fact that he sees some of them daily, and he'd really prefer to avoid that.
But at the same time, the holding pattern is familiar, though it seems that part of it - not quite knowing what he's supposed to be doing with himself anymore - has been on his mind more often than not lately.
Either way, he wasn't at work today - the weather has been horrible for two days - and so he's just sort of been studying at home all day; thankfully the Eevees haven't let that be all he does today, and once in a while they seem to send Eeveemaru to get up on the table and..."help" with whatever it is Ishimaru is trying to do until he gives in and plays with the horde a bit.
He's got Eeveemaru with him when the feed pops up, the little fuzzball up on his shoulder and looking into the 'Gear a bit too fascinatedly and wearing that little white uniform jacket, as always; Ishimaru's actually not matching him, instead wearing a black coat and a scarf he's had for a while, patterned after Ho-Oh's plumage. It's sort of a warm outfit, given that he's indoors, but it's comfortable and it's soft and the evening hours have brought some chill with them despite the heat in the house anyway.]
One of the things I've started to like about this world is how it gives so many new opportunities - not just for making friends and getting to raise Pokémon, either, though that's obviously important also! But there are a lot of challenges as well...you find out a lot about yourself when you're somewhere so far from home, I think. Some of it's good, some of it's not so good - but it's all a learning experience, and I'm glad that I've gotten to go through that here!
It's a little confusing at times, though; where I'm from, there's a lot of emphasis on being the best at what you do. You always have to keep up and never let yourself slip; you have to know what you're doing at all times, and if you don't, you need to act as though you do. It's a lot of pressure, but the thing is that it's constant, and it may sound a little weird, but once something that's constant like that goes away, you can find yourself missing it - or at least, I sort of do, I think, just because that sort of structure and pressure always let me know what I should be doing with myself. This world doesn't give us as much direction, and that's...strange...
[He trails off a bit, thinking.]
But something this place has taught me, though - and I think it's a good thing! - is that a lack of structure and direction doesn't have to mean that there's nothing that can be done - this world actually rewards hard work and steadfastness far more than the one I'm used to. With enough dedication, we should be able to achieve whatever we want here due to the way this place rewards it - we can make what we want of our time here, instead of working toward a definite goal with a narrow margin of success! It's a very freeing concept; I'm not used to it, but I think I like it, or at least the message behind it.
I still don't have a set direction that I've trained my sights in, but I think I'll find it one day, if I work at it hard enough; I hope the same becomes true for the rest of you as well! Decide what you want and work toward achieving it; you have the chance to do that here, even if you didn't wherever you come from!
I hope you've had a good and productive day; if not, I know tomorrow will be better! So just keep your heads up!
[Aaaand end feed. Sometimes talking things out does help in some ways; who knew?]
But at the same time, the holding pattern is familiar, though it seems that part of it - not quite knowing what he's supposed to be doing with himself anymore - has been on his mind more often than not lately.
Either way, he wasn't at work today - the weather has been horrible for two days - and so he's just sort of been studying at home all day; thankfully the Eevees haven't let that be all he does today, and once in a while they seem to send Eeveemaru to get up on the table and..."help" with whatever it is Ishimaru is trying to do until he gives in and plays with the horde a bit.
He's got Eeveemaru with him when the feed pops up, the little fuzzball up on his shoulder and looking into the 'Gear a bit too fascinatedly and wearing that little white uniform jacket, as always; Ishimaru's actually not matching him, instead wearing a black coat and a scarf he's had for a while, patterned after Ho-Oh's plumage. It's sort of a warm outfit, given that he's indoors, but it's comfortable and it's soft and the evening hours have brought some chill with them despite the heat in the house anyway.]
One of the things I've started to like about this world is how it gives so many new opportunities - not just for making friends and getting to raise Pokémon, either, though that's obviously important also! But there are a lot of challenges as well...you find out a lot about yourself when you're somewhere so far from home, I think. Some of it's good, some of it's not so good - but it's all a learning experience, and I'm glad that I've gotten to go through that here!
It's a little confusing at times, though; where I'm from, there's a lot of emphasis on being the best at what you do. You always have to keep up and never let yourself slip; you have to know what you're doing at all times, and if you don't, you need to act as though you do. It's a lot of pressure, but the thing is that it's constant, and it may sound a little weird, but once something that's constant like that goes away, you can find yourself missing it - or at least, I sort of do, I think, just because that sort of structure and pressure always let me know what I should be doing with myself. This world doesn't give us as much direction, and that's...strange...
[He trails off a bit, thinking.]
But something this place has taught me, though - and I think it's a good thing! - is that a lack of structure and direction doesn't have to mean that there's nothing that can be done - this world actually rewards hard work and steadfastness far more than the one I'm used to. With enough dedication, we should be able to achieve whatever we want here due to the way this place rewards it - we can make what we want of our time here, instead of working toward a definite goal with a narrow margin of success! It's a very freeing concept; I'm not used to it, but I think I like it, or at least the message behind it.
I still don't have a set direction that I've trained my sights in, but I think I'll find it one day, if I work at it hard enough; I hope the same becomes true for the rest of you as well! Decide what you want and work toward achieving it; you have the chance to do that here, even if you didn't wherever you come from!
I hope you've had a good and productive day; if not, I know tomorrow will be better! So just keep your heads up!
[Aaaand end feed. Sometimes talking things out does help in some ways; who knew?]
action because i do what i want;
She's dressed casually and warm against the weather herself, and her hair is tied back in a haphazard braid and there's a half-eaten bar of chocolate in her hand (which is fast on its way to becoming three-quarters-eaten instead).]
Hi, Ishimaru. Hi, Eeveemaru.
[She pulls out one of the chairs and easily drops into it, still chewing.]
Are you studying?
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So here comes fuzzball, looking more than a bit pleased to see her because hi hello there, and Ishimaru doesn't close the book he's been poring over but he does push it forward on the table a bit to establish some space.]
I am, yes - it seemed like a good day for it!
[Like...most days...]
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That's good. It's back to normal, right? Back to normal is good. Especially when things have been not-so-normal.
[...]
So you're okay?
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I think so, yes! Why do you ask?
[...]
Have I seemed as though I'm not, then, or...?
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[...]
I don't want you to have sore calves.
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No, I'll be all right. It wasn't ideal, but it was...fine.
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[She turns her attention to Eeveemaru for a minute, kind of grateful for the fuzzy distraction he provides.]
...Nobody bothered you or anything?
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...I met someone there, he wasn't so bad.
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...Did he help you out? The guy.
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[...]
...Like...potholes or something.
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[God help us all if this enters the vernacular and suddenly THAT POTHOLE I HOPE HE DIES.]
That's good, though, I'm really glad. I...ran good, too.
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[He's quiet for a moment, though, once that's out there.]
...Was it okay, though? That we were doing that at all.
[He hesitates.]
I know it's okay if you're trying to beat people who...cheat a lot. At the running. It's okay to beat them, even if it's in ways they don't like, because they cheat and so they deserve to lose.
But this was helping people who cheat win against people who cheat harder. Is that...still okay?
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...The running.
[#NailedIt.]
But we still beat someone who cheated. And...maybe in the next race it'll be people who run fair against the cheaters. Because...with less cheaters around there's more chances for fair runners to run. Right?
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...Right. Right, that makes sense...
[He doesn't sound entirely convinced, but that's...better, he thinks.]
The people we beat also nearly...took everyone out of the race, with the cheating they did last year. The others still cheat, but they haven't done anything quite that bad; it doesn't make it okay, but sometimes you have to take the lesser of two -
[...uh]
...cheaters.
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[It's obvious from his tone that he doesn't see...how, but he's not exactly comfortable arguing to the contrary, either.]
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...I don't think I am. But it's...good, to hear you say that.
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[She kind of moves Eeveemaru into her lap at that, cuddling him a little more solidly now.]
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What happened at school was one of those things.
[It's the sort of thing that he would have cried over, a bit over a year ago; he doesn't really cry much anymore these days.]
...It's been over for a long time, and it's nothing I should trouble people with. But I still think about it all the time, because it's one of those things I don't deserve to forget about. That's all.
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[She's just kind of quiet a minute.]
...You're always my family, okay? No matter what.
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[...]
I'm really glad that you're here, aneki.
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...Can we have chocolate together next week?
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[...]
Not obligation chocolate, either. Because chocolate isn't.
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[ :|a ]
Maybe that kind with the caramels. The really good ones.