ardent | 004. Action for Violet City/Video

004. Action for Violet City/Video

[ACTION]

[Perhaps strangely for the late evening hours on a Sunday, there are lights on in the school in Violet City tonight; Ishimaru usually avoids coming here in the evenings for that reason - surely it would look suspicious if someone were to come by and see that, or notice someone wandering around in there through the windows - but he has been coming by here once classes let out for the day once in a while, and tonight...well. It's been a long week.

It had taken him some time to convince himself that being here was okay (it is public property, as far as he can tell, so he's not in danger of trespassing, and surely it can't be breaking and entering if the door is unlocked); he'd run into a janitor yesterday who didn't seem fazed at his being there, and didn't seem to mind as long as he left things as he found them. It isn't as though he does much here, anyway; he mostly just wanders around, enjoying the feel of the place. Schools have always had very distinct feelings associated with them, as far as he goes; even his time in Hope's Peak hasn't managed to tarnish that.

About the only thing it's effected is the way he makes sure to leave the windows open and unblocked by shades while he's here.

So he's clearly visible to passersby, should there be any this evening, though he's got his back to the outside; he's got chalk in his hand, quickly adorning the chalkboard in front of him with words written briskly in steady, straight lines.

Live with simplicity, fortitude and vigor.

The foundation of hard work is the spirit to succeed.

Sacrifice is freely given, not yours to demand; give freely of yourself when possible.

Do what you can with your life; it's the only one you've been given.

Do not tear down when you can build up; do not destroy when you can create.

Respect all life as though it were your own.

They're simple phrases, really; things to be kept in mind, thoughts that he needs to remind himself from time to time. He thinks for a moment before scrawling one more down, and then he steps back, surveying his work.

We are not dead yet.

It had struck him as horribly morbid, when he'd first heard it; it's still painful, but it brings with it a dark sense of comfort. We are not dead yet.

That one gets underlined.]

[VIDEO]

[Well, judging from the background of the video, Ishimaru hasn't quite left the school building yet -

...all right, he's not even in the process of leaving, as several of those lines are still clearly visible on the board behind him, but still. He'll wipe them before he leaves, definitely.

However, for the time being, he has something of a question; it's been bothering him for quite some time now, actually.]

A lot of people seem to have been brought here during times of stress or conflict in their lives - in fact, almost everyone I've seen has been like that! Is there anyone here from a world that's actually peaceful and in order?

[It hasn't quite hit him that this isn't just something you ask people, good lord.]

Of course, even if things are dark for you now back home, the focus shouldn't be on futility, but rather on hope and possibilities! Even if your world is a dark one and your circumstances are unfortunate, it's still nice to hear about the positive times, so if you have any of those, they can be shared as well, if you like.

I hope that today was good to you, and if not, that tomorrow will be better - anything can be overcome with hard work, inner strength and cooperation!

[...again, it's been a long week, and he tends to solve issues with his own sense of spirit by screaming encouragement at others; it usually works, for the most part.]

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Well... well yeah, but I do something wrong in, fuck, less than twelve hours! If I return home, it's all fucking over. I don't know what to do, kyoudai. I'm...

[so fucking scared but he can't admit that. His pride won't allow him to admit that.]

Sorry. You're right; I haven't done anything yet. There's no sense beating myself up about it right now. We've just gotta focus on doing what we can for everyone here.

[He folds his arms across his chest at that, not seeming to notice or mind that he's likely going to get chalk dust from the fingertips of his right hand all over his sleeves.]

What were you going to say just now? I still think we should try to move forward, but you know that you can tell me anything!

Ah, it's... it's nothing.

[Is there really any sense in keeping it from Ishimaru? Ishimaru is the one person he can talk to about this, isn't he? Keeping it from him would be stupid, wouldn't it?]

...I'm... shit, this entire thing scares me. I don't know what to do to make it better or prevent it or fuck, help in some way. It's like a fucking train wreck, y'know? I can see it coming, but I can't do anything to stop it.

This is why I didn't want to tell you about this - it's only going to hurt you from now on!

[He's clearly frustrated, but he isn't angry, certainly not with Mondo; with himself, maybe, a bit. But otherwise...]

I shouldn't have said anything to you - but there isn't any undoing it, now that it's been said. You can always talk to me about this, understood?

Edited (...that was interesting, html) 2013-07-15 03:16 (UTC)

It's not like I wouldn't have figured it out eventually anyway, kyoudai. Don't blame yourself, alright? It's better that I know. I wouldn't want to say something to accidentally hurt Fujisaki. I mean, if she's already experienced that...

[This is confusing.]

...Thanks. You're really too good to me.

No, I'm not - you know I've said I want to look out for all of you here.

[...was that another one of those answers that Mondo tends to not find acceptable? It was a bit impersonal, but surely it was fine...]

There's no such thing as being too good to you.

[Well that second statement certainly helped!]

I really appreciate it. You've got no idea how fucking much that means to me, kyoudai.

[The fact that he can still call Ishimaru that after what happened means so much to him too.]

Shit, I've been so fucking worked up about all this. I'm sorry. I really will try to focus on what we're doing here instead of what happened - or will happen - back home. Moping around ain't gonna do anyone any good.

You have nothing to apologize for!

[He turns to look at those statements he'd been writing down on the board earlier; he points in that general direction, indicating one in particular, though it's likely a bit difficult to tell at this distance.]

The one above the "courage" statement you asked me about, the one I've underlined; someone here told me that. It sounds horrible at first, but it's done me a lot of good here!

Ah, has it?

[Mondo tips his head, considering.]

It sounds horrible though. Yeah, we're not dead yet. But we've only got so much time. I guess I don't see how you can keep being so strong even after all this.

[It's admirable, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't jealous.]

That's what I thought, too, at first, but the person who told me that is dead himself.

[Or, well, undead, but let's...not...get into Jack and his circumstances...]

I was told to think of it as being a reminder that nothing is really over until it's entirely over. Whatever happens back home, we've still got this place; as long as we have a chance to keep living and make things as right by others as we can, we should take the opportunity to do so - it would be wasteful and disrespectful otherwise, wouldn't it?! We need to do what we can, while we're still alive to do it; as long as we're here, no matter what happens to us back home or how difficult it may be to face life after Hope's Peak, we're not dead yet.

[Mondo takes all that in silently, but as soon as Ishimaru's done, he's off the desk and clenching his fists tightly, looking excited for the first time in at least a week.]

You're right!! Moping around ain't gonna do us any good and we're already here, so we've gotta focus on getting the others here! We may not be able to change what's already happened or what will happen, but we can at least bring the others here to kinda make up for it!! We've got a future here, and that's something we've gotta work towards, no matter what!!

Exactly!!

[God bless Jack Skellington for giving him a way to explain this; he seems incredibly pleased, at any rate.]

It's good to know that this seems to be helping you as well, kyoudai - we'll be all right, in the end. I know we will!

Yeah, of course!

[Mondo nods eagerly, pompadour bouncing a bit with the force of the nod.]

We can do this! We've gotta do this! We'll bring 'em all here and everything'll be fine!!

[He hesitates then, expression clouding a bit. Not everything is fine though, is it?]

Hey, uh, kyoudai? Is... is everything alright between us?

[It sounds stupid, but he's not sure how to word it otherwise.]

[...hold on, where did that come from?]

Isn't it...?

[The words are hesitant; he can't really imagine what brought that on. Of course everything is fine; why wouldn't it be?]

[Oh hang on, did he lose Ishimaru? Mondo rubs at the back of his neck, trying to figure out how to put it.]

Well you've... seemed pretty distant lately. Like, you're always busy with the school and... whatever else you do and I get that it's good to have some space, but it seems like we haven't been hanging out as often, y'know?

[...]

'Course, I get why you wouldn't want to hang out with me as often! I mean, after what happened...

[He trails off there, looking sheepish.]

[...yep. Yep, you lost him.]

After what happened...?

[He can feel himself twitching quite a bit and he's quick to fold his arms as though to stop it; his expression doesn't darken, exactly, but a good amount of the usual severity is quick to return.]

If this is in reference to what we discussed about Fujisaki-kun, I've already told you my thoughts about that! It isn't affecting anything!

What? No, not that! Yeah, you already told me your thoughts on that, and I really appreciate it!

[Is it possible Ishimaru really doesn't find this to be a big deal?]

After I uh... attacked you. The other day.

[He tenses up rather sharply at that; it's...rather obvious that it's not so much that he doesn't find it a big deal and more that he just really, really doesn't want to discuss it.]

Ah...that.

Yeah, that.

[Mondo rubs at the back of his neck, glancing away from Ishimaru once that's out there. What does he even say about it?]

I'd get why you wouldn't want anything to do with me after something like that. But you... you keep talking to me and shit like that. But it's different, y'know? I can get why things wouldn't be the same, but it...

[He trails off again, frustrated. He doesn't know how to properly express his feelings on it.]

I don't ever wanna lose you, you know that. But I don't really like the way things are now. It seems like you're trying to distance yourself from me. Maybe you aren't and I'm just reading too much into this or something. But if that's what you're trying to do, you don't have to do that. You can just tell me; I promise I won't get mad or anything. I've already promised not to hurt you and I'll do everything to make sure I keep that promise, no matter what!!

[His response to that is immediate, vehement; he isn't angry, just frustrated, but still.]

And if I really wanted nothing else to do with you, you know that I would cut ties! You know that I prefer to be direct and honest with people; I don't see why I would be acting any differently now - there would be no sense in that!

[Mondo almost replies to that, but he can't quite find the words he needs. He doesn't want to think that maybe he's right, that maybe Ishimaru is acting this way because he's scared of Mondo's reaction. He has every right to be scared. Again Mondo rubs at the back of his head, frowning.]

...Yeah, you're right. You're pretty upfront about shit.

[He moves to sit on the desk again, resting his hands on his knees. Mondo still can't meet Ishimaru's eyes.]

I'm glad you don't wanna cut ties. I... really wouldn't like that.

[To understate it horribly.]

[He shifts back a little, seeming uncertain; he isn't sure what's wrong, exactly, but he can tell something is. He's gotten better at being able to tell when Mondo isn't telling him something; in some ways he understands keeping things from others if you really don't think they need to know, but this...just doesn't feel right. Like something he shouldn't just leave alone.

Mnngh.]

...What's troubling you, then? Something seems to be.

...Ah.

[He glances up at Ishimaru, a bit surprised to be called out on this. It's good that Ishimaru is picking up on when Mondo's not saying something he probably should be, but at the same time, he really doesn't want to talk about this.]

...I guess... I'm just wondering...

[God this is awkward.]

Are you scared of me?

What? Of course not!

[He seems genuinely wigged out by that, though it isn't through fear, it's just...where in the gently caress did that even come from -

...

wait.]

Do you think I'm afraid of what you'll do if I say the wrong thing or something?!

W-well, I wasn't sure, and I mean the whole being distant thing isn't really helping that image...

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