ardent | 006. Text/Action for Violet City

006. Text/Action for Violet City

[TEXT]

[Today's post is a bit different, the usual video completely absent; he's not been much in the mood for talking to others lately.

However, there are reasons why he thinks he probably should. So text it is.]

As much as we don't always understand or like it very much, the experiences we've had in this place are things to be cherished, I think. It's a good opportunity that we've been given, to meet others we might never have known and share ideas that we might never have come across otherwise.

I feel very blessed to have met all of you. If I haven't spoken to you, then I want to eventually; I'm sure there are things we can learn from one another, if given the opportunity. I still haven't found what it is I'm supposed to do with myself here - but I don't think that stagnation is acceptable, either. For now, I think "working on making things right" is a satisfactory goal, and one that I need to keep in mind more often, maybe.

Either way, I hope that today is a good and productive day for you - and if not, that tomorrow will be better.

[...it's a little subdued and Not Exactly Okay - by Ishimaru's usual standards, anyway - but he sends it anyway; it's just something he's needed to get out there, really.

Somebody's dealing with his first sudden-disappearance-from-Johto experience over here; it's not going too well, but he's trying to get back on track the only way he really knows how.]

[ACTION]

[Ishimaru's been making himself scarce lately; he's used the few days he's had since turning twenty to throw himself into being a complete workaholic, and while that's been good for replenishing what he's spent (and he's been spending much more than usual over the last couple of weeks, something he's been feeling intensely guilty about), there have been other abovementioned reasons for his radio silence and general avoidance of everyone.

But he's off today and the streets of Violet City are welcome, even if he does seem a bit jittery. He's out of his normal uniform, for one thing, and it's still something he's completely unused to - the military-style boots are the same, of course, but he's got black pants on under them, the stiff ones he usually uses for travelling purposes despite the fact that he's doing nothing of the sort just now; as for the rest...he has no idea where Naegi even found the thing in Johto, but he is currently +1 trendy-as-hell hoodie, white with red and black accents and more zippers than he knows what to do with. He still feels more than a bit out-of-place wearing it, but it's something he could get used to. Maybe. The hood's dropped back over his shoulders; it seems to be...weirdly weighted down by something, and if he's seen at the right moment, there's what's undeniably some sort of cat in there, peeking out over his shoulder. Meowth, from the look of it. A very, very runty one, but a Meowth regardless.

Of course, he's got other reasons for the nerves, apparently; he comes to a stop outside the local bar, looking up at it in the way that one does when they know they have absolutely no reason for going in there and are probably going to get thrown out because...well, god only knows why. It's a ridiculous notion, especially given that no one here seems to care about the local drinking age, if one even exists; Oowada had taken him in there shortly after his birthday, and he's come back frequently since, immediately after he's off work. Which wouldn't be too weird - he can do as he pleases, after all - if he didn't get off work in the middle of the afternoon.

Clearly, it's five o'clock somewhere.

However, once he slips inside, he's actually not interested in drinking; what's got his attention is the billiards table in the back room. That's where he goes immediately, setting the Meowth down on one of the nearby stools before picking one of the cue sticks off the back wall. It's not high-quality (nor is the table, really) but he's not going to complain; it's just for the sake of amusing himself, anyway. He'd noticed the setup when he'd come in here the first time, with Oowada; he hadn't played then, but it's what he's been coming back for.

Pool is geometry, when it comes down to it - geometry and physics, all angles and force and arcs; even so, he's still not sure where he picked up how to play. It's just something he knows how to do; if he were to dwell on it for long enough, he'd likely think that it's something he doesn't remember due to the incident in the school. But for now, he doesn't want to think; he racks up easily, and when he shoots, the break is a clean one.]

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Actually, I think it's better that it's not a paradise - progress without hardship isn't real progress at all! If something is presented as perfect, that just means there's something wrong with it that you can't see or don't know about. So I like that this place can be difficult, that it presents challenges and mysteries and isn't always likable - even if it can't be trusted always, it's honest. If that makes sense.

It's just the lack of direction that I dislike.

This is quite true. When presented with a utopia, stagnation sets in and those involved begin their own disruptions as a means of seeking progression. There is nothing truly perfect in this world, though we can strive to at least see things right.

The measure of a man can be seen in how he faces his hardships. Places that are brutal and provide the greatest challenges show us who we truly are inside and out.

It takes some people many years to find the course of action to which they should set their lives. I'd imagine in coming here a great many people have had such a thing disrupted. Without the abilities of home, picking up the pieces and finding a new way would be quite difficult.

Well, that's true. But a lot of people also seem determined to return to their world eventually - it's as you said, they see it as some sort of vacation at best, before they go home.

I don't plan on doing that.

Perhaps there's something waiting for them, or they were taken on the cusp of something momentous. I've never heard of forced world movement until this. It's quite unusual.

I'm quite content to be here, myself. There is much to learn, much to do... the lack of ability presents a challenge all its own. After all, this world is much like others, and all worlds are connected... what I desire can be done here just as easily as anywhere else.

You mentioned feeling aimless. What sort of activities do you prefer?

[There are a lot of things in that that probably should catch his attention, and in fairness, some of them do - this person has never heard of "forced" world movement, and that's a strange modifier to put in front of that concept; the continued discussion about lack of ability implies...something, maybe some sort of power that was taken away - he thinks he remembers hearing something about this world doing that. People with magic can't access it anymore. Something like that. It sounds ridiculous to him, but if this person is implying that he has magic powers then...well, Ishimaru can't really say that they don't.

Given his past experiences, there's probably something he should be wary of in the assertion that what this person desires can be carried out in any possible world, but the fact is that he isn't; after all, that would be the ideal, right? That's what he would want, if given the option.]

I was a student back home, with plans to go into politics. I guess it's technically still possible to continue my studies and find some sort of career that would allow me to help people here, but I had personal reasons for all of it that I don't have here.

...I think that's what's bothering me, actually - it's not so much that I can't do anything, as it is that doing what I was before seems pointless now. The possibility to carry out the goal itself in some way hasn't been taken away, but the reasons for doing it have.

[...huh. Wow.]

I hadn't thought about it that way before, but I guess it makes sense. But I'm getting off-topic, sorry; most of my activities until now have been centered around studying and preparation for my career. I'm still working out what I actually prefer.

What about you? You sound as though you've seen other worlds before, at least - is moving between them something you do often?

Politics? A noble path, the desire to make change and do good for the people one chooses to represent. Though I can only imagine that this place must have very different sorts of politics, given the structure of society.

That's the crux, isn't it? As you say, the reason for doing is no longer present. Here, you can only do what you desire for completely personal reasons rather than whatever outside forces were acting upon you previously... and for someone who desires a path of altruism, such selfishness can be difficult to swallow indeed. I do not blame you for your restlessness.

I am certain in time you will find something that can drive you in such a way as to give you what you desire. It is simply a matter of weathering the storm, but as you've indicated your intention of doing so, there is little more to say in that regard.

It was indeed, prior to this. I was - and still am, even here - a scholar, a seeker of knowledge. Passage between worlds was a simple process, and a necessity. I had never seen nor heard of this world and its effects, however.

Well, I wouldn't say that doing what I desire for personal reasons is the only option - I have people that I'm at least partly responsible for here, and something to work toward with them. I'm a bit troubled due to not knowing what to do once that's done, I guess - it's something with a definite, visible end, and I've always found planning for the future to be important so not knowing what to do after my current goal comes to an end is strange to me.

But a [...what does he even call Leon? "Friend" is a bit strong, "acquaintance" is too generic, "classmate" is...awkward, given the way that ended...] guy I know has been telling me that I need to calm down and start focusing on one thing at a time. It's just a hard habit to break, but I'm sure it's possible.

...I'd like to hear about these other worlds you've seen sometime, though. If it wouldn't be too much trouble and you wouldn't mind, I mean.

Perhaps after your important work comes to an end, taking a bit to think about yourself and what you can do would be better. It is often worrisome to step forward without a concrete plan, but with downtime comes the ability to remake yourself into what you want to be. A direction will present itself in some fashion or other. Forcing something for the sake of having something is worse than having nothing at all, in my experience.

A habit can be broken by enforcing a counterhabit in its place. It takes about a month of repetition to set a habit. It's quite the difficult process, but entirely doable.

I'm quite open to speaking of my experiences if you desire. For the time being my mobility is a bit limited, but soon enough I may be able to travel further.

I'd like that very much, actually. You seem like the sort of person who has a lot of wisdom to impart.

[...Ishimaru. We generally don't just say things like that, but you go right on ahead there, buddy.]

We haven't even introduced ourselves yet, though! Not properly, anyway - my apologies for the oversight. My name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru; it's good to meet you!

I may have learned a few things in my life that are worth passing on, for those who might wish to hear. Perhaps we may arrange something.

It's a pleasure to speak with you, Mr. Ishimaru. Please call me Xehanort.

That would be good, yes - my brother and I are currently traveling, but I'm sure our paths will cross eventually! Do you have any set plans for the future?

When I depart from New Bark Town I will simply move along the proscribed route and see where it takes me and what befalls me then. It seems most appropriate to start that way... whether I adhere to such a plan remains to be seen. However, if we do find ourselves relatively close, a detour may definitely be arranged.

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006. Text/Action for Violet City

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text; I just need to say that your keywords are absolutely killing me oh my god

text; my work here is done!