01x. Action for Ecruteak City - Fourth Wall Event

[ardent]

[It's been a little while since Ishimaru's been here, and he can be found in...well, the exact same place he was last time he made a broadcast from this area - several stories up, on top of the Tin Tower. However, there's a marked difference from the last time he was up here - whereas he was a bit excited and generally getting his enthusiasm for life fired up and raring to go back in September, he's currently standing stock still in the center of the roof, his expression the sort usually reserved for those who have just had either a religious experience or a really, really spectacular acid trip (that may or may not have culminated in a religious experience, because hey, who are we to judge how these things happen). At least he's...not quite crying, though wow does he look tempted.

He's holding something tightly in his hands - a pair of somethings, really, the first being a ridiculously vibrant feather that glitters in various colors when it catches the light; the second is a small gold pouch containing...something light, from the look of it, but it's difficult to say. Either way, he's seeming a bit overwhelmed.

...to the point that he hasn't...quite noticed the Eevee horde that's trooped up here after him just yet, um. He'll probably wonder where the hell those came from once he's done, but for now they are just kind of...wriggling excitedly and once in a while bouncing, like they're trying to start some sort of tiny, fluffy mosh pit.

...Dangans, man.]

Comments

[ardent]

[Well, that actually is a fair defense.]

...No...?

[gummyfrogs]

Okay, well, uh. Why don't you, you know, just do your thing, make your little speech, ask me to bring you a Weedle or a Bellsprout or whatever it is you're programmed to want, and I'll just go get that and we can be on both our ways. That sound cool?

1/3

[ardent]

Programmed...?

[What on earth are you talking about, he's not - ]

[ardent]

[...OHHHHHH, OH. WAITWAITWAIT. Okay. This must be an element of the - oh. Okay, okay we're good.]

[ardent]

[...you are getting the most stilted-sounding laugh in the history of anything, good sir; you can practically hear the effort being put into it, but at least it's...a positive reaction, um...]

No, no! I'm not one of the locals - I just showed up here one day! A lot of us did!

[gummyfrogs]

[...oh my god he hasn't heard a laugh that awkward since the last time Parker realized everybody else thought something was funny about five seconds too late.]

...So you're just...up here chillin', then. On top of a building. In the thirty-degree weather.

[ardent]

I like it up here!

[As though that explains everything.]

This place is central to a lot of the mythology of this city, and I come up here sometimes when I'm in town - it's been a little while since I was here last, and I wanted to see it again, that's all!

[gummyfrogs]

There ain't no good reason to be hanging out on rooftops. You know what happens to people who hang out on rooftops? They get — pushed off the damn building and shoved into harnesses and dropped and — cautionary tale, my man, do not hang out on a building.

Take my advice, just round up your little Eevee brigade, head back down the stairs, get your feet on the ground, and go find yourself a nice restaurant or coffee shop or...play place or somethin'.

[ardent]

...I think I know what you mean; my sister tried to get me in one of those harnesses once.

[......]

That happens often?

[gummyfrogs]

Whoa, whoa. That's nasty. Don't go around telling people that. I don't care how freaky she is, there are some things other people just do not need to know. That is confidential information on a need-to-know basis, and I did not need to know.

[ardent]

[WHAT]

But you just mentioned it yourself!

[gummyfrogs]

Yeah, but I don't know your sister.

[ardent]

Well, I didn't know her either until recently! She's a really great person, though, when she's not trying to make me jump off of buildings!

[gummyfrogs]

...So you've got a sister you've barely met before and she's trying to get you to jump off of a building.

[...]

Do you have, like, a massive inheritance coming or something?

[ardent]

Not at all! And I don't see what that matters anyway, because we aren't related!

[gummyfrogs]

So your adoptive sister is trying to kill you.

[...]

So is she the redheaded stepchild, or...?

[ardent]

No, she's blonde!

[gummyfrogs]

And no wonder you're not related.

[He shrugs, reaching instinctively for his smartphone — which, as he rediscovers when his hand comes away, is in fact his PokeGear — and rapid-firing a series of buttons with smooth and practiced ease.]

Look, I'll tell you what. What's your sister's name, I'll let you know if she's got anything hinky going on.

[ardent]

Ah...no, that's not necessary, believe me!

[gummyfrogs]

[Beep beep bop boop.]

Kiyotaka Ishi...maru. ID registered April 23rd of this year, network postings in that time measure two thousand and change, most hit contacts include Mack-oto Neggy, Oo-oh boy I'm not even going to try that one, and Alice...White...

[...]

Alice White?

[ardent]

[What the gently caress - ]

...Y-Yes. That's my sister!

[gummyfrogs]

...Your sister is Alice White.

[...]

Harness-wearing base-jumping blonde-haired Alice...White.

[...]

Oh my god.

[ardent]

Yes, that's -

[Oh.]

...You know her, then?

[gummyfrogs]

Oh my god.

[He's just.

...

Oh my god.]

You're Parker's dead little brother and Heaven is Pokemon.

[ardent]

[That gets a sharp flinch from Ishimaru, but his response is immediate.]

Don't tell her - please don't tell her, she doesn't know!