ardent | 010. [Action for Dangan House/Text]

[ACTION]

[His first thought upon waking up is that he doesn't know where he is.

His body tenses immediately on that bed in the basement, jolting sharply awake as though he's been startled by something, as though he's just been sleeping and he's had a hell of a nightmare; his eyes are wide, his gaze shifting around the room as though he's trying to get some idea of his surroundings and what's happening around him, and he might just look disoriented if it weren't for the fact that his gaze is so blatantly unfocused.

He's taking in everything without really seeing it; his breathing is quick to even out, however, and after a moment his body relaxes against that futon he sleeps on, and any fear that may have been present in him is gone entirely, seeming to take any genuine fight he may have had along with it.

After a moment he sits up, and if he isn't hindered immediately by anything or anyone he'll get up and start pacing the length of the basement, the motion aimless and ultimately pointless, just something to do because...well, it's something to do.

He hasn't lost that odd, disconnected look in his eyes; he's not registering anything very well, that much is obvious.]

[TEXT]

[A text will be hitting the network shortly after Ishimaru wakes up and any discussions with people in person have been carried out; it's short and uncharacteristically careless, and he isn't paying much attention to the device after it's out there, though he'll respond eventually to anyone who replies.]

i'm awake

and i'm sorry

[OOC: Canon-updating completed, for good or ill.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Ishimaru flinches when Mondo moves to hug him, but he doesn't try to fight it or pull away; that said, he isn't returning it, either. He simply allows it, letting Mondo hold him, and he can feel that he's gone very still.]

...kyoudai...

[The word is quiet, tinged with something that can really only be considered disbelief; his voice sounds strained, as though he hasn't used it properly in a while.

He hasn't; not until those long periods of time where everyone leaves him alone and he can just go back to his room and scream until his lungs feel like they're about to burst, until he has no voice left to use.]

Yeah. Yeah, I'm here for you. I... I might not've been there for you back home, but I'm here now. I'm here now and nothing's gonna happen. We're gonna be okay. I promise.

[He's not really sure what to say, so he's content to ramble in an attempt to comfort Ishimaru. Maybe something he says will stick. Mondo reaches up after a moment to play with Ishimaru's hair.]

I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. But... things'll be okay here. We'll bring everyone here and we'll be safe. It'll be okay, kyoudai.

[He doesn't say anything for a long while, nor does he move to return that embrace still; after a while, though, he leans forward a bit, burying his face into Mondo's coat in response to that hair-playing.]

...I'm sorry.

What the fuck are you sorry for? It's not your fault you fell asleep and went home!

[...Or maybe is this about...?]

Are you blaming yourself for what happened to Fujisaki?

...Maybe. I don't know.

[He falls quiet for a moment, twitching violently all the while; after a moment, he's replies but it's more like screaming, loud and angry, though none of the anger is directed at Mondo, really.]

I don't...I don't know!! I just know that I didn't...do enough...

No, no, it's okay, don't give me that...

[Mondo's trying to be comforting, but he's not really sure how to go about it. He continues to hug on Ishimaru and play with his hair, but he's not sure how much that is helping. Or if it's helping at all.]

I'm sure you did everything you could. I mean, shit, you didn't know what was going to happen, so you couldn't have known to stop it, right? It's okay. Don't blame yourself, alright? The only person you should be blaming here is me.

[...]

Or Monobear, you can blame that bastard too.

[He falls into another of those strange, dead silences then; it goes on for several seconds too long, though at least he seems to be trying to control the tears a little.]

...I should have...there must have been something else, I...I couldn't save you, I tried, but...

...You tried to save me from being executed? But you know what I did. I mean, you probably didn't remember this place or anything like that, but Kirigiri and Naegi figured it all out, right? So you know that I... killed Fujisaki.

[This is still really weird since it hasn't happened for him, but he's trying.]

You didn't have to do that. I... can't really speak for what happened there 'cause I don't know, but thanks for trying. I don't think I would've wanted to get away with it though. I mean, sure I doubt I wanted to die, but getting away with it would mean killing everyone else. It would mean killing you. I couldn't live with myself if I was responsible for something like that, kyoudai.

[And that...isn't right; something about it isn't right at all and he doesn't want to consider what but that doesn't stop the pain from starting in, starting in his chest and twisting tightly around his insides like barbed wire, and it's then that he pushes away from Mondo - and it's not just stepping back, it's actively fighting to get out of his grip.]

Don't...don't...

[Mondo lets go like Ishimaru's on fire, backing up a step and apologizing immediately.]

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, shit...

[He's not sure what Ishimaru is so upset about and he's not sure how to help. The frustration is evident on his face.]

Is there... anything I can do to help?

...I don't know.

[He can feel himself shaking again; he's still crying, the tears flowing openly now, though there's an odd look coming into his eyes, somewhere between anger and flat-out despair.]

...Leave me. Please...

[Somehow, that hurts more than Ishimaru pulling away, but Mondo was aware that Ishimaru might need his space. He's not like Mondo is, after all.]

...Alright. You can call me if you need anything, okay? Or... or even if you don't need anything! I'll be here for you. I'll make up for what happened in the school. Somehow.

[Mondo hesitates for a moment before starting toward the door. He opens it and casts a glance back over his shoulder.]

...I'm sorry. I'll see you later, okay?

[Ishimaru doesn't respond to that; he just...returns to kind of casting about the room awkwardly with his eyes, looking just about everywhere but the door. He's still crying, he's still tense, but he's settling somewhat; after a while it'll stop hurting and everything will go back to being glossy and numb and for the time being, that's the way he likes it.]

[He doesn't say anything else for a moment, just studying Ishimaru carefully. He doesn't want to leave but Ishimaru doesn't want him here.]

...L-Like I said, if you need me, just give me a call, okay, kyoudai?

[He finally opens the door and leaves.]

010. [Action for Dangan House/Text]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject