ardent | 010. [Action for Dangan House/Text]

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010. [Action for Dangan House/Text]

[ACTION]

[His first thought upon waking up is that he doesn't know where he is.

His body tenses immediately on that bed in the basement, jolting sharply awake as though he's been startled by something, as though he's just been sleeping and he's had a hell of a nightmare; his eyes are wide, his gaze shifting around the room as though he's trying to get some idea of his surroundings and what's happening around him, and he might just look disoriented if it weren't for the fact that his gaze is so blatantly unfocused.

He's taking in everything without really seeing it; his breathing is quick to even out, however, and after a moment his body relaxes against that futon he sleeps on, and any fear that may have been present in him is gone entirely, seeming to take any genuine fight he may have had along with it.

After a moment he sits up, and if he isn't hindered immediately by anything or anyone he'll get up and start pacing the length of the basement, the motion aimless and ultimately pointless, just something to do because...well, it's something to do.

He hasn't lost that odd, disconnected look in his eyes; he's not registering anything very well, that much is obvious.]

[TEXT]

[A text will be hitting the network shortly after Ishimaru wakes up and any discussions with people in person have been carried out; it's short and uncharacteristically careless, and he isn't paying much attention to the device after it's out there, though he'll respond eventually to anyone who replies.]

i'm awake

and i'm sorry

[OOC: Canon-updating completed, for good or ill.]

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[When the Eevee horde takes off for the laundry chute, Parker knows.

She doesn't know how she knows, exactly, but she does; maybe it's their sudden urgent enthusiasm to get downstairs as fast as they possibly can, or maybe it's the fact that she overheard something (the footfalls, the bed creaking, movement of any kind, something) herself, but either way, she knows.

The only question, then, is which is actually a faster way down — following the Eevees through the chute, or picking the basement's deadbolt and leaping the stairs.

(In the end, she goes for the stairs, but only because the chute is preoccupied by Eevees.)

And sure enough, when she gets there, Ishimaru is...

...

well, he's...up, but something's wrong, and she knows it. She doesn't have to be a grifter to know it; he's wearing the same look she'd had on all week.]

Ishimaru?

[Mondo's been keeping a close eye on Ishimaru this entire time, but he's not there when Ishimaru wakes up. He's upstairs fixing something to eat. It doesn't take him long to return to the basement and when he does, he drops the plate he's carrying.]

K-Kyoudai?

[The word seems to jolt him back to his senses and he surges forward to wrap his arms around Ishimaru--

No. Wait. Mondo was told that falling into a coma like this means that Ishimaru went back home. If he went back home, then... He probably saw what happened to Fujisaki. He probably saw the trial. He probably saw Mondo's execution. He might have even seen his own death.

Mondo reaches out a hand instead, trying to touch Ishimaru's shoulder. It's the most comforting gesture he can come up with, but he knows it isn't going to do any good after whatever Ishimaru's been through.]

...I'm glad you're awake.

[He tenses up a bit when he sees her, a soft sound leaving him as his body tightens up, and he's quick to draw his lower lip into his mouth briefly, chewing on it a bit before casting his gaze away.

He's shaking; he can't bring himself to look at her.

...admittedly, the horde provides a decent distraction because goodness that is certainly the lot of them down the chute, isn't it, and they're as enthusiastic as ever; he acknowledges them, though it's not with the usual pettings - it's more just...looking at them, like he doesn't know what to do with them.

...clearly, he needs a moment. Or several. Maybe days. Who knows.]

[And something about that seems to strike him badly - it's hard to say whether it's the initial crash or what Mondo calls him or the aborted gesture or the hand on his shoulder, but in the end Ishimaru is incredibly tense, and he's shaking, and it isn't the good sort of shaking, either.

His gaze is odd, unfocused and he can't make himself look at Mondo, but he can't make himself look at anything else, either.

There's a bit of a sound that leaves him eventually, but it's odd, strangled sounding; he keeps his gaze sharply downcast, and after a moment his eyes close suddenly, and it doesn't take long before the tears start to fall.

Just. Give him a moment.]

...Shit.

[Should he give Ishimaru some space? Naegi did warn him about that, but... But he can't leave now.

Maybe it's stupid, but he reaches out to pull Ishimaru into a hug, immediately trying to soothe him.]

I'm so fucking sorry, kyoudai. I-I'm... shit... It'll... It'll be okay, alright? You're here now. You don't have to worry about anything. I... I'll be here for you, for as long as you want me to be, okay?

[The first thing that goes through her, surprisingly enough, is a stab of anger. Not at Ishimaru, of course (never at Ishimaru), but at everyone else, all the people who'd turned up with their soft voices and careful stupid words going this is normal and sometimes this happens and he'll be fine when he wakes up. It's the kind of anger that makes her lose something, the kind that makes her forget what her hands are doing until she notices after the fact that her palms are stinging from the welts her nails dug in, or the shards of glass twisted between her fingers that used to be a bottle.

They said he would be fine, and they were wrong, because he's not fine. He's not fine.

If it were anyone else, she'd be alarmed and scared right now, because she doesn't know how to handle things like this. She always goes back to Sophie, what Sophie would do, not just because Sophie is a grifter but because Sophie tries to help her to get better at things like this, so that when they happen she doesn't end up like this, stalled out and drawing a blank herself. If it were anyone else, she'd want to jump out the nearest window just to get away from it.

But this is Ishimaru, and he's more important, and he...needs...to not be alone. Not like she was alone, when she was the one with that slump in her shoulders and that dead, awful stare behind her eyes.]

Ishimaru.

[It doesn't quite come together at first, the connection between he knocked out and he went back and the understanding of what he went back to. Someone else would've seen it faster, but she doesn't.

It's not until the pain in her hands registers, and she realizes that she can barely get her fists open from clenching them shut so hard, that it somehow sinks in — because he'd never liked her to be violent, maybe, and violence is what he went back to.

She gets her hands open somehow, unmindful of the nail marks, and doesn't move other than to open her arms halfway.]

Ishimaru, come here.

[Ishimaru flinches when Mondo moves to hug him, but he doesn't try to fight it or pull away; that said, he isn't returning it, either. He simply allows it, letting Mondo hold him, and he can feel that he's gone very still.]

...kyoudai...

[The word is quiet, tinged with something that can really only be considered disbelief; his voice sounds strained, as though he hasn't used it properly in a while.

He hasn't; not until those long periods of time where everyone leaves him alone and he can just go back to his room and scream until his lungs feel like they're about to burst, until he has no voice left to use.]

Yeah. Yeah, I'm here for you. I... I might not've been there for you back home, but I'm here now. I'm here now and nothing's gonna happen. We're gonna be okay. I promise.

[He's not really sure what to say, so he's content to ramble in an attempt to comfort Ishimaru. Maybe something he says will stick. Mondo reaches up after a moment to play with Ishimaru's hair.]

I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. But... things'll be okay here. We'll bring everyone here and we'll be safe. It'll be okay, kyoudai.

[That gets him to look up from the horde, anyway, though it's just to stare at her for a moment; he wanders over to her, though, when she tells him to come, and he stops in front of her without moving to touch her.

It occurs to him, for what feels like the first time, that he's taller than she is; it's a weird thought, one that he's really not sure what to do with, and he's not really even sure if he should do anything with it so in the end he does nothing, he just...looks at her. He isn't sure if he should tell her to leave, because the last time he'd tried that it hadn't ended well (it had ended...weirdly, really); ultimately he decides against it, just letting her do...as she decides to do.]

[Whoops, here comes SHSL Helpful! To her credit, however, the message comes a little bit after he's woken up - giving him time to recover? Now why on earth would she do something like that?]

That was quite the sleep, Ishimaru-kun. You must have been very tired.

Have you checked your iron levels?

[He doesn't say anything for a long while, nor does he move to return that embrace still; after a while, though, he leans forward a bit, burying his face into Mondo's coat in response to that hair-playing.]

...I'm sorry.

no

should i

[After a moment, you'll get another one.]

how long

What the fuck are you sorry for? It's not your fault you fell asleep and went home!

[...Or maybe is this about...?]

Are you blaming yourself for what happened to Fujisaki?

...Maybe. I don't know.

[He falls quiet for a moment, twitching violently all the while; after a moment, he's replies but it's more like screaming, loud and angry, though none of the anger is directed at Mondo, really.]

I don't...I don't know!! I just know that I didn't...do enough...

[Okay. Good. Yes, she remembers this, too — get up, Parker; keep moving, Parker; chew and swallow, Parker. Simple commands made things easier because at least you knew what to do with them. You didn't have to think, you just...

Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Carefully, quickly, she looks him over, like she's afraid she'll find blood or a wound on him, somehow, or scars that aren't supposed to be there. But there's nothing, really, or at least nothing she can spot, which means that all the scars are on the inside.

The worst part is that she can't even make herself tell him that it's going to be okay, because it's not and they both know it and she hates lying to him.]

It's warm outside.

[Somehow, she thinks she's supposed to say something other than that, anything but that, but she doesn't know what it is.]

We can go appreciate the sky.

No, no, it's okay, don't give me that...

[Mondo's trying to be comforting, but he's not really sure how to go about it. He continues to hug on Ishimaru and play with his hair, but he's not sure how much that is helping. Or if it's helping at all.]

I'm sure you did everything you could. I mean, shit, you didn't know what was going to happen, so you couldn't have known to stop it, right? It's okay. Don't blame yourself, alright? The only person you should be blaming here is me.

[...]

Or Monobear, you can blame that bastard too.

[As soon as Hagakure sees the post, he immediately knows what's happened. After all, he's been through this once already.

This is definitely not good.

So...how can he word things delicately...]

Hey, welcome back Ishimaru-chi. You don't need to be sorry, okay? We're all just glad you're awake!

[He would say, "glad you're okay" but...yeah he's pretty sure he's not.]

[ Naegi's been going downstairs several times every day to check up on Ishimaru, to see if anything's changed. And after finding out that falling into a coma means going home, he's been thinking about the state Ishimaru's going to be when he comes back. Everything spiraled into hell after the second trial and Naegi's attempt to make it better back then only resulted in Ishida. Which made Ishimaru less of a shell but it didn't exactly fix anything.

When he comes in and sees Ishimaru, the initial relief seems to fade when he notices that disconnected look in his eyes and realizes what it means. It means he should go back upstairs and get rid of the butter in the kitchen. ]

...Ishimaru-kun.

[ He would ask "Are you okay?" but he doesn't have to. He already knows the answer. ]

[His eyes widen a bit at the mention of outside, the mention of going outside and seeing the sky because yes, yes that's a thing that they can just...do here, isn't it, they can just go outside anytime they want and they don't have to worry about explosions and machine guns and -

He nods after a moment, letting his eyes slide closed for a good long while until he can look at her again. We can do that if she wants.]

[He falls into another of those strange, dead silences then; it goes on for several seconds too long, though at least he seems to be trying to control the tears a little.]

...I should have...there must have been something else, I...I couldn't save you, I tried, but...

[He's still listless as hell when he replies, as is evidenced by the text, but at least he responds.]

was i gone long

Yeah. Yeah, we can...we can do that.

[It's fine that he's a little taller than her, really, because Hardison is too, and she's had plenty of practice at helping to haul him around before; carefully, trying to avoid making him flinch, she maneuvers his arm up enough that she can tuck herself under it, wrapping one of her own around his waist as she goes.

She'd sooner just carry him up the stairs, frankly, but she has a feeling he wouldn't want that. Maybe it's better to keep making him listen and do things, anyway.]

Fresh air. That's good for you. Right?

...You tried to save me from being executed? But you know what I did. I mean, you probably didn't remember this place or anything like that, but Kirigiri and Naegi figured it all out, right? So you know that I... killed Fujisaki.

[This is still really weird since it hasn't happened for him, but he's trying.]

You didn't have to do that. I... can't really speak for what happened there 'cause I don't know, but thanks for trying. I don't think I would've wanted to get away with it though. I mean, sure I doubt I wanted to die, but getting away with it would mean killing everyone else. It would mean killing you. I couldn't live with myself if I was responsible for something like that, kyoudai.

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010. [Action for Dangan House/Text]

D - PARKER POPS UP BEHIN...oh wait

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