010. [Action for Dangan House/Text]

[ardent]

[ACTION]

[His first thought upon waking up is that he doesn't know where he is.

His body tenses immediately on that bed in the basement, jolting sharply awake as though he's been startled by something, as though he's just been sleeping and he's had a hell of a nightmare; his eyes are wide, his gaze shifting around the room as though he's trying to get some idea of his surroundings and what's happening around him, and he might just look disoriented if it weren't for the fact that his gaze is so blatantly unfocused.

He's taking in everything without really seeing it; his breathing is quick to even out, however, and after a moment his body relaxes against that futon he sleeps on, and any fear that may have been present in him is gone entirely, seeming to take any genuine fight he may have had along with it.

After a moment he sits up, and if he isn't hindered immediately by anything or anyone he'll get up and start pacing the length of the basement, the motion aimless and ultimately pointless, just something to do because...well, it's something to do.

He hasn't lost that odd, disconnected look in his eyes; he's not registering anything very well, that much is obvious.]


[TEXT]

[A text will be hitting the network shortly after Ishimaru wakes up and any discussions with people in person have been carried out; it's short and uncharacteristically careless, and he isn't paying much attention to the device after it's out there, though he'll respond eventually to anyone who replies.]

i'm awake

and i'm sorry


[OOC: Canon-updating completed, for good or ill.]

Comments

[nostabbing]

No.

[He may not be able to find the alarm, but Parker can, because Parker knows exactly what he's describing. It's the thing that made everybody say she was broken, what makes them say "there's something wrong with you". The point when it stops hurting is the point when you start needing somebody like Hardison to wait you out two years before you can even stop being a mess again.

Parker was broken, do you understand that? she'd heard Nate say to Archie. You should've taken her home, should've — to what? To my real family?

Parker wouldn't fit in with a real family. That's why Ishimaru can't let his slip through his fingers.]

You have to — to try really hard, okay? You have to try so hard, Ishimaru, but you...you have to keep...feeling. And it sucks and it'll hurt so bad but you have to do it, like when you cut yourself and it hurts but it hurts so you know you have to protect that while it heals. You have to try. You have to.

[She tips her head, resting it against his, and focuses on the rhythm her fingers are drawing against his back. Slow, slow. Up, down. Like cracking a safe, steady as it goes.]

I need you to.

[ardent]

[He tips his head a bit in return, leaning it against hers while he thinks that over; it...makes sense, he thinks. It's not really the way he'd think about it. But the logic follows and it makes sense and it's going to take him a while to get his head around it but that's okay.

Because they're here, and they have time.]

...Will you hate me if I can't...?

[nostabbing]

No.

[It's gentler this time, less severe, less afraid. It hurts in a way she can't seem to put into words, that she has to tell him to stay miserable and screaming and crying, but just because it's quieter where he wants to go doesn't mean it's better.

She shifts her weight a little, back and forth, rocking him in a margin of millimeters.]

Just try. I'll help you. I've got you.

[ardent]

...I trust you.

[And he does. More than anyone else in the world right now.]

[nostabbing]

I need you to tell me when you need stuff, okay?

[She says, ducking her head so it's half-muffled against his shoulder.]

You can tell me anything. And I'm going to take care of you.